Have you ever heard “it’s gonna be too hard on your body,” or “are you sure you’ll have enough energy for this?”. Or maybe “what about your career,” or “aren’t you scared of the health risks?” Or worst of all, “Aren’t you afraid people will think you’re his grandmother?”And if you haven’t heard them from someone else, you’ve probably had these thoughts yourself.
I’ve read so much about the downsides and dangers of childbirth in the late 30’s and 40’s (aka “advanced maternal age”). Many articles go so far as to say don’t do it. What a shame that the most prevalent information and opinions out there come from such a pessimistic place. Yes – we should be aware of the risks, but come on. People have been giving birth in their 40’s for many decades and the vast majority of them do not end in tragedy. The worst-case scenarios should not be the only scenarios taking up all the airtime.
Women who adopt or use surrogates at our age are just as heavily impacted by the stigma of so-called old parents, perpetuating their self-doubts. And they also fear the very same thing. That we’ll be too tired for this or we’ll die early.
But the thing is… For us, later is better.
My name is Holly. I’m starting a whole new life – motherhood and family – at 43. I’m a new biological mom and (relatively) new stepmom. I’m not working a full time job for the first time in over 20 years and I get to stay at home with the little one (for now, anyway). I’m entering the next chapter of my life: phase II.
After working in the field of developmental disabilities for over 20 years, I went and got engaged, knocked-up and quit my job. Each of those things brings me great joy. I want to share my experiences and tools, and I want to highlight topics and areas of interest for all of us. If there’s anything you want to hear or talk about, reach out to me. I’d love to hear from you~
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